Aiya, Claire also never post alr, so i assume 2 options. 1)she forgot the password. 2)she lazy to post. So til the day i find another person to help me post i shall just post the 298th post.




Anyways its already July.

and i am proud(not) to say that many things happened(again). Or maybe i should just say that 2009 is simply an eventful year, and i wonder if that can even be a good thing or not. Personally, i am just thoroughly stretched, and at times becoming so stressed and tired and all the nonsense. But figuring it out, it will all end on the fateful day.


The last month, the last opportunities to even be stressed by council and school things. before i fully concentrate on my O lvls.


And as much as i hate to admit, i've changed. change is inevitable. things change, people change, everything changes. i hate change, but i have to realise that change is the only constant.

It's complicated. just complicated. I keep forcing myself not to think. quit thinking about issues. quit thinking about people. quit it all. but i can't.

i am, like what taylor swift likes to say, bulletproof.

even my perception on certain things took a turn.

I am probably going nuts.

and i just think that sometimes i am an escapist, and i often find myself running.from everything. to evade from consequences, from problems, just hide. And ultimately, God just will have to pull me out.

Life in reality, isn't that complicated, as much as all the emotional turmoil we go through. Now i even think twice when i talk to girls.

if you see me running, please stop me.

and hopefully i can loan this blog to someone who will post here often.


hey unfaithful, i will teach you
to be stronger, to be stronger.
hey ungraceful, i will teach you
how to forgive one another.
Some will seek forgiveness, others escape- Underoath.


Ben


its all emotions, really.
i really wish that God, you will get someone down here to be with me
to bring me through.
it is out of rationality and logic
i am sick and tired of everything.
do you even see the blood in my veins
no you don't
because it is so deep that it couldn't even bleed.